How to Talk to Someone About Their Mental Wellness
We all want to be there for those we care about, especially when they're struggling with their mental wellness. Knowing how to approach these conversations can feel daunting, but we can learn to create a supportive space for genuine connection.
Creating a Safe Space for Open Communication
The right environment sets the stage for a productive conversation. You'll want to choose the right time and place. Find a private, quiet space where they feel comfortable and secure. Avoid public spaces or times when they might be rushed or stressed. Privacy helps foster trust and allows for a more honest conversation. You should also prepare yourself and mind your own emotional state. Approach the conversation when you're feeling calm and collected. Being overly emotional might cloud your judgment and hinder your ability to listen actively. Prioritize both their well-being and yours by being in a clear headspace to offer genuine support.
Expressing Concern with Care and Respect
How you initiate the conversation is important. We use "I" or "you seem" statements to focus on observations and feelings we've noticed, avoiding accusatory language. These statements help express your concern without placing blame. For example, "I've noticed you seem withdrawn lately. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Instead of labelling their experiences, focus on what you've observed:
"I've noticed you've been [specific behaviour, e.g., sleeping more, eating less, withdrawing from social activities]. Want to talk about it?"
"You seem to be feeling [specific emotion, e.g., anxious, sad, angry] more often. Is that right? Are something causing these feelings?"
"I've noticed you've been [specific physical symptom, e.g., headaches, stomach aches, fatigue] more frequently. Is there anything causing this?"
"You seem to be having trouble [specific task, e.g., concentrating, making decisions, getting out of bed]. Is there something making it difficult?"
Listening with Empathy: How to Truly Hear Them.
This is about truly hearing them. Give them your full attention, make eye contact, and avoid interrupting. Show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings by using nonverbal cues like nodding to demonstrate you're engaged. Allow space for silence to encourage internal reflection.
Give Your Undivided Attention: Put away your phone, turn off distractions, and make eye contact (if culturally appropriate and comfortable for them). Your presence alone communicates care.
Listen to Understand, Not to Reply: Resist the urge to formulate your response while they're speaking. Your primary goal is to fully grasp their feelings and perspective, not to offer immediate solutions or share your own experiences.
Reflect and Summarize: Periodically, gently paraphrase what you've heard to show you're listening and to confirm your understanding. For example, "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed by..." or "So, if I'm understanding correctly, you're saying that [their feeling/situation] has been really tough."
Notice Non-Verbal Cues: Pay attention to their body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. These can often convey as much, if not more, than their spoken words.
Embrace Silence: Don't feel the need to fill every silence. Sometimes, a person needs a moment to gather their thoughts, process emotions, or simply feel the comfort of your presence. Allowing silence can encourage deeper sharing.
Withhold Judgment: Empathy requires a non-judgmental stance. Even if you don't fully understand or agree with their feelings or actions, your role is to accept their experience as valid for them at that moment.
Validate their feelings. The stigma surrounding mental health is very real
And it's typically the very reason why people are hesitant to seek help. Fear of judgement, shame, or the feeling of needing to handle things alone can all stem from this stigma. To encourage open communication, acknowledge their worries and validate their feelings. Simple phrases like "That sounds tough" or "It's okay to feel that way" show you care and create space for them to confide in you.
Offering Support and Resources
You can come prepared with some professional resources. Ask them if they'd be interested in exploring them together. Let them know it's a personal decision. Seeking professional help is a brave step, and you can be a source of encouragement. It's helpful to consider various therapeutic options that might appeal to them, such as yoga, social groups, or creative pursuits. These can offer significant benefits for mental well-being. Remember, it's important to support their journey and avoid pressuring them into professional help if they're currently disinclined.
We should acknowledge the complexities of seeking help. There are many barriers to seeking help, and it’s helpful to understand them. Beyond the powerful deterrents of perceived stigma, fear, overwhelm, hopelessness, and denial, significant barriers often include financial hurdles like the cost of therapy or lost income from time off work. Systemic issues such as long wait times, a shortage of qualified professionals, difficulty navigating the complex healthcare system, or a lack of culturally competent care also play a major role. Also, personal factors like a belief in self-reliance, distrust of the healthcare system, or simply not recognizing their struggles as a treatable condition can prevent people from reaching out for the support they need.
Respect their boundaries and privacy. Don't pressure them to disclose more than they're comfortable with. Let them know it's okay to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy develops trust and encourages open communication in the future.
Follow Up and Know When to Seek Further Help
Maintain communication. Find the balance between showing genuine concern and respecting their need for space. Check in regularly and offer ongoing support. Reiterate your commitment to being there for them and encourage them to reach out whenever needed. Consistent support reminds them they're not alone in their struggles.
But also, recognize your limitations. While your support is valuable, there might be situations where professional help is necessary. Consider seeking support groups or programs for yourself as well, as supporting someone can be emotionally taxing. If the person poses a safety risk, calling emergency services.
Remember
Starting a conversation from a place of care and concern, you can open the door to them seeking the help they need. Patience, compassion, and a clear head are crucial for supporting someone.
While you cannot "fix" their problems, your unwavering support and a listening ear can provide the strength and comfort they need to navigate their challenges.
Looking for support closer to home? We've also cultivated a comprehensive list of Canadian mental wellness services right here on our website, complemented by a blog dedicated to exploring resources and support available across Canada.
